The culture of positive psychology has taken hold of every area of our lives these days, from work to relationships to raising children. There is virtually no human endeavor that hasn’t had an espresso shot of “the power of positive thinking” added to it. This means, of course – that having a PMA – a “positive mental attitude” – has become pretty important in the world of physical health and well-being – and the hard-working people who are trying to help us all achieve it – our health-care providers. 

 

The importance of a PMA has now been backed by enough scientific studies and published in enough prestigious medical journals (we do love our verification and validation stickers) that there’s no longer any doubt that it works, and that it’s incredibly important because it works incredibly well.

 

Even our most empirical, hard-core, old-school, “science-only-please” Western medical practitioners have gotten on board this train for the simple reason that – it truly does help people heal. While there is still some annoying data that refuses to explain exactly why some of it works (and doctors really, really like to know this and it makes them uncomfortable when they can’t), there is no longer any question or argument that it does.

 

So, in terms of my/our/your health – just what can a “PMA” do? Aside from feeling happier, emotionally better, and physically healthier – here are a few things a PMA can do:

 

• lower chronic stress, worry, and anxiety – all of which significantly depletes critical brain chemicals, upsets the body’s hormonal balance, and damages the immune system...

 

• promote faster recovery from virtually all illnesses, and/or injuries (evidence shows that the mind actually has control over the immune system – how? – we don’t know – it just does)...

 

• lower your risk of dying prematurely by 50%....

 

• help you have less pain; you may actually have more than others – but you feel it less...

 

• reduce physical limitations you may have due to illness or injury (two words: “Stephen Hawking”)...

 

We All Know What a “Positive Mental Attitude” is – But What IS a Positive Mental Attitude?

 

There are so many words, ideas, and concepts that I think I “know” what they mean – but when I truly look at it, and sincerely think about it – I realize – “No, I guess I’m not actually sure what that means...” To my surprise, given what I do for a living, a positive mental attitude turned out to be one of those things when I sat down to write about it.

 

So, for your sake and mine – I find it’s always helpful to backtrack a little and get that tricky question out of the way if I’m trying to write lucidly. I sat down, did some thinking, did some research, a little more thinking, a little more research, a lot of coffee – and this is what I came up with, at least this morning. This is my current take on what a PMA entails, as well as a few itinerant ideas about how to get hold of some:

 

1) A “glass half-full” attitude...

Instead of coming from the “I’m doomed...” column, try to approach things from a - “Heck, Yeah! This, this, and this may suck – but– look at all the great things I do have!” Sometimes our emphasis on “living in the NOW” can backfire, especially when multiple calamities hit.

 

So, when life hands you a litany like – “My car had a flat tire, my presentation at work was awful, and then my kid got sick...” - see if you can cement a different take into your thinking, as in – “The guy from AAA was incredibly cute... I loved that new combination of colors I used in my power point, and the house is so nice and quiet when my child is unconscious... You see what I mean.

 

In cases like this, yes – it can be incredibly difficult to focus on an appealing and agreeable tree because you are lost in the forest, however – this is where skillful, "glass half-full" thinking is crucial. If necessary, enlist the help of friends and family (especially your mother) to help you find the positives in the murk – and then repeat them over and over again to yourself.

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2) Not just looking for the solutions, but living in the solutions....

Are you trying to change some negative aspect in your life? Are you failing at it? (sometimes miserably) Take a page from 12-step programs everywhere, which says: “So – you fell off the wagon? So what? Don’t just sit there, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over again – and this time try this approach instead....” This is also known as flinging yourself (sometimes miserably) back on the horse every time you fall off....

 

3) Seeing “problems” as opportunities to figure it out and/or do it differently....

This is often a matter of just changing your viewpoint – and especially the language you use to talk to  yourself - and about it. Sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to focus on an appealing and agreeable tree because you are lost in the forest, however – this is where skillful glass half-full thinking is crucial.

 

So, you have a challenging teenager at home? Perhaps, instead of saying to yourself -  “This kid is obnoxious and driving me insane,” and then whispering through their locked door that you are going to send them to a military boarding school, you might try a different approach. See if you can force yourself to say instead: “Look, I love you and I know school is hard right now and that’s why you want to lock yourself in your room for the rest of the semester, but – hey, it’s ok, take your time, I’ll be here.” Then go ahead and leave food outside their door, and go to bed. Richard Branson never graduated from high school, and look where he is now.

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4) Seeing “failures” as challenges – and blessings that will help you in the long run...

The word “failure” is anathema in our society. In this culture we are so goal-oriented, so focused on achievement – so fixated on graduating summa, summa, summa, getting the medal, grabbing the gold, taking the cake, picking the winner, finishing first, and being the last man standing – that any hint that things didn’t work out is regarded as shameful. You are an automatic loser.  

 

It is incredibly hard to embrace the truth that failure is one of life’s absolute minimum daily requirements; without it – we would never do anything right.

 

There are so many amazing people who have failed at some point that it’s a wonder we even question this or still think that failure is – well, failure. Even when people understand and agree intellectually, we still manage to take absolutely no comfort in examples like:

 

– Thomas Edison failed at making the light bulb more than 1000 times...

– Abraham Lincoln lost 8 elections....

– The Wright brothers crashed so many times there history lost count...

 

If necessary – find an example that works for you. Build yourself a positive paradigm for not getting it right the first 187 times you try. Even looking for a good failure role model will cheer you up, for example:

 

– Marilyn Monroe was told she had no sex appeal and should be a secretary...

– Babe Ruth held the record for strikeouts before he held the record for home runs...

– Stephen King’s first book was rejected 30 times...

– Michael Jordan missed more than 9,000 shots in his career...

 

Personally, I find comfort in catsup; H.J. Heinz began with a company that produced horseradish – and went bankrupt first.

 

5) Learning Optimism – and applying it to all areas of your life...

I believe that the best exercise for creating this attitude in your life is – “fake it ‘til you make it.” Many, many Disney movies have discovered this idea and summed it up perfectly. Corny as it sounds – if you behave as if you believe you can – eventually you actually will believe you can – and eventually you will! Pretending, or acting “as if” really does lead to actual results (albeit not in the case of actually flying; there are limits, after all). Learning optimism has taken me a long time, and I still have to practice on a daily, hourly, and sometimes minute-to-minute basis, but these are the basics of my daily exercise routine for achieving a sleek, fit PMA:  

 

A. Think Positively.... about yourself and about others; some days I can do it the minute my feet hit the floor, some days I just have to pretend – or act like I’m absolutely sure everything will work out and everybody’s wonderful, including me.... and the end of The Wizard of Oz” is a perfect example of this. Go watch it.

 

B. Be Upbeat.... and act deliberately happy, yes – “act like it,” even if you don’t feel like it. Catch yourself in those moments when you are looking at the world through stone-colored glasses and change what you’re saying to yourself about your world and your place in it; put on the crazy pink glasses instead. Yes, sometimes this entails what feels like acting ridiculously “perky and upbeat” i.e. – smiling when you’d rather sob, saying that everything’s just great when it’s not, being happy to and for people when you’d rather club them, etc., etc.

 

C. Expect Success....  when you try things. This is a tough one to change, and if you have a parent or grandparent who lived through the Great Depression – you have an idea how much it still permeates popular culture, and how tough it is to shake. (And if Eeyore was your favorite character in “Winnie the Pooh,” you’ve got a long road ahead of you, because – as a pessimist – you were a child prodigy).

 

Being successful, or even expecting success – is sometimes seen as arrogance, which is always punishable by a wrathful being somewhere. We still – as a society – equate expecting success with the idea of “hubris” – or pride, and we all know how that works out – it goeth before a fall....

 

D. Be Nice.... even when you want to scream at people. Yes – again, do it. Even if you don’t feel like it – just grit your teeth and pretend you do. Stop and ask yourself if whatever you’re thinking, doing, or saying is nice – or kind – to yourself and to others around you. If it’s not – then stop thinking it, doing it, and don’t say it.

 

This isn’t enough however, you must also go out and actually, actively, do nice things for other people. This is especially effective for making you feel better about the world – and your place in it – all the way around. I know, I know.... The horror.

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E. Lighten Up.... One of my favorites on the list of all-time, great expressions has to be the current one-word query – “Seriously?” It basically reminds me to look at how dumb I’m being about something.

 

Realizing that I am being so serious that it’s truly dumb is a great exercise for me, personally. It reminds me that nothing is a big deal. Really. Seriously. Whatever may be  going on, basically the fact is this: you’re ok, I’m ok, they’re ok, and we’re ok.

 

So ease up. Stop worrying. Whatever I may be thinking about – it isn’t as bad or good or hard or easy or important or unimportant as I may think it is inside my tiny mind. Or yours.

 

It’s a tremendous relief when you think about it. Really. Seriously.

 

I have found, personally, that trying to wrap my mind around these ideas on a daily basis has had a profound effect on my life in general, and on my health in particular. Every once in awhile I’ll throw in a piece of my own life experience to back up some of the claims I make in my writing, and the whole PMA thing is one where I have some good material to work with.

 

Here’s my example - I’ve had two total knee replacements, as a result of genetic bone deformities coupled with teaching dance and movement for 25+ years. With the first knee – I was terrified; I made my living moving at the time. I had a great doctor, but I wouldn’t call him “warm and fuzzy;” communication wasn’t his forté, and I was afraid to ask questions. The recovery was extremely hard; the pain was intense, the pain meds made me sick, and the whole thing required months of griping and whining.

 

However, by the time I got to the second knee, I had gotten a clue, and a different doctor. This doctor explained everything, and not just encouraged – but patiently answered – all my questions. He also advised a special diet designed to promote faster healing, and suggested that I take supplements before and after the procedure to encourage bone and tissue restoration (an entirely new concept at the time).

 

Now, this helped incredibly, but here’s what I think the biggest discovery was: I worked with an absolutely great, terrifically upbeat physical therapist. Actually, this therapist was irritatingly happy and obnoxiously positive, and he insisted that I tackle my recovery the same way. To my horror. He also had control issues and wasn’t impressed with how well I complained, so he wouldn’t let me do it. And you know what? I won’t say that the second recovery was exactly “easy-peasy” – but it was very, very close.

 

Some people need to have some kind of epiphany to make a life change, certainly – this one was mine. My hope is that – possibly – other people learn far more quickly than I do, and actually benefit from another’s experience. If so, and if you have – then, my work here is done.

 

For this morning, anyway.

 

Seriously.

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